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molex · 27 July 2005, 01:46 PM

About a month back I got some estimates to have a patio poured in my back-yard. It turned out that a neighbor was a professional concrete-man, and he gave us a great price and we had him do it, job completed 2 weeks ago.

Today I receive a call from the first guy who gave us an estimate. When he asked if I'd made a decision, I said "Well, we had that job done." His response has left me puzzled. He said:

"Well, I don't appreciate that I drove almost 2 hours to give you and estimate, and you didn't even have the courtesy or respect to call to let me know you weren't going to give me the job."

?????????????????????????????????????????????????

I'm befuddled by his response. I was taken quite off-guard, and simply said "Well, I'm sorry about that. You have a nice day now." and he and I hung up simultaneously.

As I thought about his statement, my initial feeling was "F you, pal, if you didn't want to drive out here to give me the estimate you should have said so on the phone." (I had no idea it was a 2 hour drive for him) Besides, what am I supposed to do, give the job to the guy who drove the furthest for it? Yeah, RIGHT.

But now I'm wondering, am I supposed to call all the people who give estimates that I *don't* go with to let them know? I never have. I've always assumed that I get some estimates for a job, and go with the lowest bid or the company/person I feel most confident in. End of story, no follow-up calls etc.

So am I wrong here? Have I been committing a faux pas all my adult life by not calling back people to tell them "Thanks but no thanks"? I've NEVER heard of anyone doing this, but.....

Input appreciated!

Gedanken · 27 July 2005, 02:15 PM

Well, to some extent the guy does have a point - it would probably have been courteous to say, "No, thanks".

HOWEVER......

Let's look at the practicalities of this. If you've gotten ten quotes are you, as the customer, really expected to make nine "No, thanks" calls? If this guy's in business he really does need to get a grip on the fact that customers usually only have the time to contact the provider they choose to go with. Hell, I get frustrated when clients don't call me back, but then again, it's their money I'm trying to earn, so it's my responsibility to do the follow-up. Them's the breaks, and there's nothing much you can do about it.

I have one caveat to include here. If I've got someone holding on to an item for me while I look around, and if I eventually decide not to buy it, I feel obliged to give the guy a call and say no thanks, because he did me the favour of holding it when he could have sold it to the next buyer who came along. In your case, though, the bugger was free to pick up any other jobs in the meantime, so you didn't cost him any business.

The response you gave him was probably the best anybody could have come up with - not aggressive, but it sends out the message that you're not going to discuss the point. Whatever his gripes are, it's his problem because quotes are generally understood to be obligation-free.

dman · 27 July 2005, 02:26 PM

Personally I do not think you were in the wrong at all Micah. Now if you would have blown your cool on the phone with him, that would have been a different story.

The way I see it, he should have phoned to see if the job was still open sooner or assumed that you found a better bid from the extended wait. Can't please everyone, I really think you should forget about it. MHO.

Mink · 27 July 2005, 08:50 PM

The guy (estimater) with the attitude is an idiot. Before he called you ,he was just a guy who didn't win the bid - now he's the idiot with an attitude that you will remember. The next time a friend asks about someone you might recommend to do some concrete work, this guy is either not going to be on the short list of recommended contractors OR he will be on the short list of people to avoid. If he really wanted a reply to his estimate, he whould have written RSVP at the bottom.

Just out of curiosity, is the ground with the new chunk of concrete on it sloped or flat. If it's reasonably flat - the idiot with the attitude and the 2 hour drive could have "phoned it in" by asking you a few simple questions. Obviously "time management" is on his relatively long list of "skills I don't have" as well!

27 July 2005, 09:24 PM

Micah, I'm going to go against the tide in this thread. First let me say that in my job I hire contractors all the time, so I feel I have some idea of what they go through (as it affects me a lot of the time). I can't say for sure if the conversation you had with this guy would have lead him to think that you would call to tell him the outcome, but in my opinion it would be common courtesy to let him know he didn't get the job, unless it was clear that he would call back to check.

I don't think there are many people who will get more than 2 or 3 quotes on something like this, so for the average joe, calling the contractors back to let them know the job won't go to them is the right thing to do, unless some other agreement has been made (such as "If you don't hear from me in a week, the job has gone to another contractor"). I make this my practice both at work (where I get quotes on a ton of work by various contractors) and at home.

Certainly the guy was not justified in giving you the attitude, but in fact if you had discussed any time frame for this work going ahead, the contractor may have been holding a time slot open for you. I don't think it's fair to leave people hanging, but I'm sure many contractors get this all the time (doesn't mean it's right, but it is part of the business).

I agree with others that he's probably done more harm than good by being a jerk about it, and I can't imagine someone from 2 hours away doing the job (does not make any practical sense at all if in fact his business is 2 hours away). I wouldn't lose any sleep over it, especially since you had no idea about his long drive, but it really does not take that much time to make a phone call in my view.

Al

JJ Irani · 28 July 2005, 04:28 AM

Tough one, Micah. Most of what Al said above makes a lot of sense; but in my opinion, you are not obliged to call back every person from whom you take an estimate.

I mean, if you were out shopping for a watch and got "bad" prices from say 3 jewellers, but the 4th fella gave you an excellent price and you bought the watch, you'd hardly be expected to call up the other 3 guys and tell them you've already bought the watch from the 4th guy because his price was better than theirs. Wow, that was a long sentence....but you get the jist!

Anyway, nothing to really worry about. The job is done, you are happy and that's all that matters in the end!!

Cheers - JJ

molex · 28 July 2005, 10:10 AM

As I expected, all good responses here. I agree with everyone on the point that he was out of line being pushy about me not calling him back, especially since I never told him or implied that I would, nor was he holding a time-slot for me, I expressly told him the job was a "no hurry" situation.

But, I think Al is right, I need to be more conscientious about this in the future. I think that, from now on, when I get estimates I will tell the person "Hey, if you don't hear from me within X days you can assume I went with another bid." That relieves me of any responsibility of remembering to call people, and it lets them know my answer via natural attrition.

Thanks again, guys, you helped me out a lot with this!

RandyS · 28 July 2005, 11:50 AM

If every person I quoted insurance to did that it would be great, but none do.

You did absolutely nothing wrong, this person does not know how business works.

And, if he really wanted the job he would not wait 2 weeks to find out what happened, he would have called you sooner.

oh yeah, I almost forgot, so you finally did it!! I will have to see the result some day

dman · 28 July 2005, 12:02 PM

Randy, you don't call each person back and get mad at them when they find a better price?

27 July 2005, 01:46 PM	#1
molex "TRF" Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: California Posts: 220	Etiquette question >>> About a month back I got some estimates to have a patio poured in my back-yard. It turned out that a neighbor was a professional concrete-man, and he gave us a great price and we had him do it, job completed 2 weeks ago. Today I receive a call from the first guy who gave us an estimate. When he asked if I'd made a decision, I said "Well, we had that job done." His response has left me puzzled. He said: "Well, I don't appreciate that I drove almost 2 hours to give you and estimate, and you didn't even have the courtesy or respect to call to let me know you weren't going to give me the job." ????????????????????????????????????????????????? I'm befuddled by his response. I was taken quite off-guard, and simply said "Well, I'm sorry about that. You have a nice day now." and he and I hung up simultaneously. As I thought about his statement, my initial feeling was "F you, pal, if you didn't want to drive out here to give me the estimate you should have said so on the phone." (I had no idea it was a 2 hour drive for him) Besides, what am I supposed to do, give the job to the guy who drove the furthest for it? Yeah, RIGHT. But now I'm wondering, am I supposed to call all the people who give estimates that I don't go with to let them know? I never have. I've always assumed that I get some estimates for a job, and go with the lowest bid or the company/person I feel most confident in. End of story, no follow-up calls etc. So am I wrong here? Have I been committing a faux pas all my adult life by not calling back people to tell them "Thanks but no thanks"? I've NEVER heard of anyone doing this, but..... Input appreciated! __________________ "Through the tool watch, Rolex became allied not just with dependability and accuracy, but with great human achievement." Vintage Rolex Sports Models Skeet & Urul

27 July 2005, 02:15 PM	#2
Gedanken "TRF" Member Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: Sir Location: Melbourne Watch: F-series SD Posts: 8,589	Well, to some extent the guy does have a point - it would probably have been courteous to say, "No, thanks". HOWEVER...... Let's look at the practicalities of this. If you've gotten ten quotes are you, as the customer, really expected to make nine "No, thanks" calls? If this guy's in business he really does need to get a grip on the fact that customers usually only have the time to contact the provider they choose to go with. Hell, I get frustrated when clients don't call me back, but then again, it's their money I'm trying to earn, so it's my responsibility to do the follow-up. Them's the breaks, and there's nothing much you can do about it. I have one caveat to include here. If I've got someone holding on to an item for me while I look around, and if I eventually decide not to buy it, I feel obliged to give the guy a call and say no thanks, because he did me the favour of holding it when he could have sold it to the next buyer who came along. In your case, though, the bugger was free to pick up any other jobs in the meantime, so you didn't cost him any business. The response you gave him was probably the best anybody could have come up with - not aggressive, but it sends out the message that you're not going to discuss the point. Whatever his gripes are, it's his problem because quotes are generally understood to be obligation-free. __________________ You buy a Casio to make sure you're on time; you wear a Rolex because you don't have to be on time.

27 July 2005, 02:26 PM	#3
dman Lifetime TRF Patron Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: Daren Location: Austin Watch: the road Posts: 13,583	Personally I do not think you were in the wrong at all Micah. Now if you would have blown your cool on the phone with him, that would have been a different story. The way I see it, he should have phoned to see if the job was still open sooner or assumed that you found a better bid from the extended wait. Can't please everyone, I really think you should forget about it. MHO. __________________ You either get it or you don't, if you have to ask, YOU DON'T!! I really hope that midget cop doesn't find me in Kokomo.

28 July 2005, 04:28 AM	#6
JJ Irani Fondly Remembered Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: JJ Location: Auckland, NZ Watch: ALL SOLD!! Posts: 74,320	Tough one, Micah. Most of what Al said above makes a lot of sense; but in my opinion, you are not obliged to call back every person from whom you take an estimate. I mean, if you were out shopping for a watch and got "bad" prices from say 3 jewellers, but the 4th fella gave you an excellent price and you bought the watch, you'd hardly be expected to call up the other 3 guys and tell them you've already bought the watch from the 4th guy because his price was better than theirs. Wow, that was a long sentence....but you get the jist! Anyway, nothing to really worry about. The job is done, you are happy and that's all that matters in the end!! Cheers - JJ __________________ Words fail me in expressing my utmost thanks to ALL of you for this wonderful support during my hour of need!! I firmly believe that my time on planet earth is NOT yet up!! I shall fight this to the very end.......and WIN!!

28 July 2005, 10:10 AM	#7
molex "TRF" Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: California Posts: 220	Thanks to all who replied... As I expected, all good responses here. I agree with everyone on the point that he was out of line being pushy about me not calling him back, especially since I never told him or implied that I would, nor was he holding a time-slot for me, I expressly told him the job was a "no hurry" situation. But, I think Al is right, I need to be more conscientious about this in the future. I think that, from now on, when I get estimates I will tell the person "Hey, if you don't hear from me within X days you can assume I went with another bid." That relieves me of any responsibility of remembering to call people, and it lets them know my answer via natural attrition. Thanks again, guys, you helped me out a lot with this! __________________ "Through the tool watch, Rolex became allied not just with dependability and accuracy, but with great human achievement." Vintage Rolex Sports Models Skeet & Urul

27 July 2005, 08:50 PM	#4
Mink Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 35	The guy (estimater) with the attitude is an idiot. Before he called you ,he was just a guy who didn't win the bid - now he's the idiot with an attitude that you will remember. The next time a friend asks about someone you might recommend to do some concrete work, this guy is either not going to be on the short list of recommended contractors OR he will be on the short list of people to avoid. If he really wanted a reply to his estimate, he whould have written RSVP at the bottom. Just out of curiosity, is the ground with the new chunk of concrete on it sloped or flat. If it's reasonably flat - the idiot with the attitude and the 2 hour drive could have "phoned it in" by asking you a few simple questions. Obviously "time management" is on his relatively long list of "skills I don't have" as well!

27 July 2005, 09:24 PM	#5
---- Guest Posts: n/a	Micah, I'm going to go against the tide in this thread. First let me say that in my job I hire contractors all the time, so I feel I have some idea of what they go through (as it affects me a lot of the time). I can't say for sure if the conversation you had with this guy would have lead him to think that you would call to tell him the outcome, but in my opinion it would be common courtesy to let him know he didn't get the job, unless it was clear that he would call back to check. I don't think there are many people who will get more than 2 or 3 quotes on something like this, so for the average joe, calling the contractors back to let them know the job won't go to them is the right thing to do, unless some other agreement has been made (such as "If you don't hear from me in a week, the job has gone to another contractor"). I make this my practice both at work (where I get quotes on a ton of work by various contractors) and at home. Certainly the guy was not justified in giving you the attitude, but in fact if you had discussed any time frame for this work going ahead, the contractor may have been holding a time slot open for you. I don't think it's fair to leave people hanging, but I'm sure many contractors get this all the time (doesn't mean it's right, but it is part of the business). I agree with others that he's probably done more harm than good by being a jerk about it, and I can't imagine someone from 2 hours away doing the job (does not make any practical sense at all if in fact his business is 2 hours away). I wouldn't lose any sleep over it, especially since you had no idea about his long drive, but it really does not take that much time to make a phone call in my view. Al

28 July 2005, 11:50 AM	#8
RandyS "TRF" Member Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 430	If every person I quoted insurance to did that it would be great, but none do. You did absolutely nothing wrong, this person does not know how business works. And, if he really wanted the job he would not wait 2 weeks to find out what happened, he would have called you sooner. oh yeah, I almost forgot, so you finally did it!! I will have to see the result some day

28 July 2005, 12:02 PM	#9
dman Lifetime TRF Patron Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: Daren Location: Austin Watch: the road Posts: 13,583	Randy, you don't call each person back and get mad at them when they find a better price? __________________ You either get it or you don't, if you have to ask, YOU DON'T!! I really hope that midget cop doesn't find me in Kokomo.

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