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Old 14 February 2019, 08:16 AM   #1
Porsche
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... more one-liners (groan...!)

• The first time I got a universal remote I thought to myself - "this changes everything".
• I refused to believe my road worker dad was stealing from his job, but when I got home all the signs were there.
• I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner as all it was doing was gathering dust.
• You can never lose a homing pigeon - if your homing pigeon doesn't come back - you've lost just a regular pigeon.
• Just because nobody complains, it doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.
• My friend keeps trying to convince me he's a compulsive liar, but I don't believe him.
• My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline - she hit the roof!
• My wife tells me sex is always better on holiday - I hate receiving those postcards
• I had a neck brace fitted years ago and I've never looked back since.
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Old 14 February 2019, 10:48 AM   #2
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Old 14 February 2019, 07:57 PM   #3
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Old 14 February 2019, 08:02 PM   #4
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Janet is in hysterics.
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Old 14 February 2019, 08:35 PM   #5
Porsche
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Quote:
Originally Posted by directioneng View Post
Janet is in hysterics.
Glad she enjoyed them Eddie
Hope you're both keeping well and the heat not too oppressive!
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Old 15 February 2019, 12:11 AM   #6
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Like them.
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Old 16 February 2019, 01:25 AM   #7
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#5
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Old 16 February 2019, 01:43 AM   #8
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I copied/pasted this on my notes! LOL
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Old 17 February 2019, 02:12 AM   #9
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Hahaha! These are great!
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