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padi56 · 29 November 2005, 08:47 PM

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on
a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy
says aloud, "I wonder what happened to this parrot?"

The parrot replies, "I was born this way. I'm a defective
parrot."

"WOW!" the guy exclaims. "You actually understood and
answered me!"

"I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a
highly intelligent, thoroughly educated bird."

"Oh yeah?", the guy asks, "Then answer this. How do you
hang onto your perch without any feet?"

"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but
since you asked, I wrap my willie around this wooden bar like
a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers."

"Wow" says the guy, "you really can understand and speak
English, can't you!?"

"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English and I can
converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic:
politics, religion, sports,physics, philosophy. I'm
especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me.
I'd be a great companion."

The guy looks at the £200 price tag. "Sorry, but I just
can't afford that."

"Pssssssst" says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth
is, nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can
probably get me for £20, just make the guy an offer!"

The guy offers £20 and walks out with the parrot. Weeks go
by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of
humour, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands
everything, he sympathise, and he's insightful.

The guy is delighted. One day the guy comes home from work
and the parrot goes "Psssssssssssst" and motions him over
with one wing. "I don't know if I should tell you this or
not, but it's about your wife and the postman."

"What are you talking about?" asks the guy. "When Paul the
postman delivered today, your wife greeted him at the door in
a sheer black nightie and kissed him passionately."

"WHAT?!" the guy asks incredulously. "Then what happened?"

"Well, then Paul the postman came into the house and lifted up
her nightie and began petting her all over" reported the
parrot.

"My God!" he exclaims. "Then what?"

"Then he lifted up the nightie, got down on his knees and
began to lick her all over, starting with her breasts and
slowly going down . . ."

"WELL???" demands the frantic guy, "THEN WHAT
HAPPENED?"

"Damned if I know! I got a hard-on and fell
off my perch!"
Only Joking Paul.

29 November 2005, 11:55 PM

dina · 30 November 2005, 12:34 AM

JJ Irani · 30 November 2005, 03:06 AM

Toooo funny, Padi!!!

30 November 2005, 03:27 AM

That was great!

Goodwatch · 30 November 2005, 03:50 AM

Not new, but very funny

mailman · 30 November 2005, 09:48 AM

Hilarious Padi. I love it.

padi56 · 30 November 2005, 06:25 PM

Thank all especially Paul for being a good sport.

29 November 2005, 08:47 PM	#1
padi56 "TRF" Life Patron Join Date: Jun 2005 Real Name: Peter Location: Llanfairpwllgwyng Watch: ing you. Posts: 52,347	The Postman And Parrot. A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "I wonder what happened to this parrot?" The parrot replies, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot." "WOW!" the guy exclaims. "You actually understood and answered me!" "I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly intelligent, thoroughly educated bird." "Oh yeah?", the guy asks, "Then answer this. How do you hang onto your perch without any feet?" "Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my willie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers." "Wow" says the guy, "you really can understand and speak English, can't you!?" "Actually, I speak both Spanish and English and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports,physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion." The guy looks at the £200 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't afford that." "Pssssssst" says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for £20, just make the guy an offer!" The guy offers £20 and walks out with the parrot. Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humour, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathise, and he's insightful. The guy is delighted. One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes "Psssssssssssst" and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the postman." "What are you talking about?" asks the guy. "When Paul the postman delivered today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightie and kissed him passionately." "WHAT?!" the guy asks incredulously. "Then what happened?" "Well, then Paul the postman came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over" reported the parrot. "My God!" he exclaims. "Then what?" "Then he lifted up the nightie, got down on his knees and began to lick her all over, starting with her breasts and slowly going down . . ." "WELL???" demands the frantic guy, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?" "Damned if I know! I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!" Only Joking Paul. __________________ ICom Pro3 All posts are my own opinion and my opinion only. "The clock of life is wound but once, and no man has the power to tell just when the hands will stop. Now is the only time you actually own the time, Place no faith in time, for the clock may soon be still for ever." Good Judgement comes from experience,experience comes from Bad Judgement,.Buy quality, cry once; buy cheap, cry again and again. www.mc0yad.club Second in command CEO and left handed watch winder

30 November 2005, 03:06 AM	#4
JJ Irani Fondly Remembered Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: JJ Location: Auckland, NZ Watch: ALL SOLD!! Posts: 74,320	Toooo funny, Padi!!! __________________ Words fail me in expressing my utmost thanks to ALL of you for this wonderful support during my hour of need!! I firmly believe that my time on planet earth is NOT yet up!! I shall fight this to the very end.......and WIN!!

30 November 2005, 03:50 AM	#6
Goodwatch "TRF" Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Real Name: Frans ® Location: Rotterdam Watch: the sunrise... Posts: 10,230	Not new, but very funny __________________ Member# 127

30 November 2005, 09:48 AM	#7
mailman TRF Moderator & DATE-JUST41 2024 Patron Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: . Watch: 126610LN Posts: 35,374	Hilarious Padi. I love it. __________________ JJ

30 November 2005, 06:25 PM	#8
padi56 "TRF" Life Patron Join Date: Jun 2005 Real Name: Peter Location: Llanfairpwllgwyng Watch: ing you. Posts: 52,347	Thank all especially Paul for being a good sport. __________________ ICom Pro3 All posts are my own opinion and my opinion only. "The clock of life is wound but once, and no man has the power to tell just when the hands will stop. Now is the only time you actually own the time, Place no faith in time, for the clock may soon be still for ever." Good Judgement comes from experience,experience comes from Bad Judgement,.Buy quality, cry once; buy cheap, cry again and again. www.mc0yad.club Second in command CEO and left handed watch winder

30 November 2005, 12:34 AM	#3
dina "TRF" Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Real Name: Dina Location: utica Posts: 1,392

30 November 2005, 03:27 AM	#5
---- Guest Posts: n/a	That was great!

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