Only me… These things only happen to me..

[TheVTCGuy]

Ahem…. Well, those of you that have known me for a while on here know I have posted some… Interesting… experiences. From Rolex affecting my dating life to realizing I was running on the treadmill in a T-shirt and underwear at the packed gym, I always seem to find myself in …. Eventful….situations. Today… today was no exception.

I have to start this off by explaining I have latrophobia. For those of you that do not know what this is (and Doctors take special note) it is the fear of Doctors, medical offices, procedures; et all. It is otherwise known as “white coat syndrome.” My BP is always sky-high for a normal Doctor’s appointment, please, go ahead and laugh, I flew combat missions over Iraq but if I watch myself getting a blood test I almost faint. Now, to try and make these visits a little more tolerable, I use humor. My Primary’s office is very familiar with my dry jokes and grumpy attitude. When one of the medical assistants is about to take my pulse or blood pressure or something I ask if they are qualified to do this. When they yes, the graduated from medical assistant school I say I want to see their diploma. They are very familiar with this old curmudgeon and always get a kick out of my grumpy attitude. When they ask me how tall I am I say 6’5”… (like a foot over my real height) and they laugh. I then say it was before my terrible accident. Whenever they ask how I am doing I say “Miserable, I think this is the day it all ends” or other such gruesome words. When they ask the reason for my visit I say: “Euthanasia” They all know me, I have been going to this Doc for about ten years, and everyone gets a laugh out of my visit.

Well…….

I am having some issues, and needed to see a Urologist. I will be having a minor surgical procedure in a coupld weeks, but let’s not talk about that. I have only been to see this Urologist a couple times, so do not know them very well and visa-versa. ALSO, I am required to wear a mask. SO…. This morning, I am welcomed in, give a urine sample, and am lead in to the examining room. The (very nice) medical assistant asks what was the reason for my visit today. I answer: “Euthanasia” Now keep in mind, because I am wearing a mask she can’t see the smirk on my face. She responds: “Oh.. no.. you don’t want to hurt yourself, you have a lot to live for” I (playing the usual game I do in my GPs office say: “No… I’m done, mine as well get it over with….” She asks if I have a relationship with GOD, some other things, but I just act like the grumpy old curmudgeon like I normally do… all in fun. She says: “OK, the Doctor will be here in a minute” and leaves the room. I wait about 15 minutes and in walks the Doctor… and two BIG orderlies and the medical assistant. They all look very serious, and the doc says: “Come on Mr. Dragos, we’re going to take you over to the hospital.” I jump up, (obviously) very concerned. Did they find something that bad in just my urine sample!? “OK” I answer, what’s wrong? But I am being escorted down the hallway, one orderly on each arm. I am wondering if I am about to pass out or something, when the Doctor says: “We are just taking you to a safe place and make sure you won’t hurt yourself..”… …. ….

…. ….. .

…… … .. …..

I WAS GETTING “ESCORTED” TO THE HOSPITAL PSYC WARD!!!!!!!!!!!!

“WAIT!” I please, with still the orderly holding one arm each “Guys, I was only kidding!!!!!” Then begins 10 minutes of pleading not to be committed and explaining it is just a method of my (obviously terrible-timing) humor, and please call my regular Doc, he will explain I always say stuff like that and I DON’T WANT TO BE COMMITTED!!!!!!!!!

Really… if it wasn’t so scary….. it would have been funny…. FINALLY, they talk to a couple people in my regular Doctor’s office and are assured, I have no intention of hurting myself, it is just dry old-man grumpy humor, and they are subjected to it every time I have an appointment. They finally believed it and I was allowed to return to the exam room…. Where I think my BP and pulse set a new world record. Ahem….

I know what you’re thinking…. I shouldn’t even joke about stuff like that in a Doctor’s office, and you’re right, it is just second nature when I am in my GPs office I didn’t even think of it. And if I hadn’t had a mask on, the medical assistant would have seen my smirk and laughing when I was pretending to be an old-grumpy man giving up on life. Go ahead… flame me, I admit it probably was a bad idea in a new Doctor’s Office, I just didn’t think of it. I promise you, I paid a price for it.

So…. I was almost committed today…. … … … Anyone else have an interesting day?

Only me…. These things only happen to me…

As I thought about the incident this afternoon, I started to ponder…. Maybe I should have gone with them(?).

[GradyPhilpott]

It's a good thing that they didn't contact TRF.

[themast]

Originally Posted by GradyPhilpott

It's a good thing that they didn't contact TRF.

Waiting for Jocke’s diagnosis

[gnuyork]

I wish there was a video of this.

[martinr]

Good thing you didn’t bring your Tumi casket with you.

[sickened1]

Originally Posted by TheVTCGuy

So…. I was almost committed today….

Almost isn't good enough! Reported!

[AzHadEnuf]

LOL!!! I can only assume that they have referred you to a new urologist. Oh BTW, I also suffer from latrophobia.

[Atone]

As a mandated reporter myself, it’s still funny but DAMN that’s scary. A 5150 is no joke and there ain’t no way to get outta that hold really. Nice one. That’s a good story for dinner for sure. Lol

[rmagoo57]

Yikes! Glad it worked out ok.

[Andad]

If i had only been there - I would have helped you out.

[AzPaul]

Paul, I'm glad you didn't off yourself and I'm happy they didn't commit you.
Still, I'm worried that at some point, you might snap and something awful will happen

. . . . . . . . . . . to the Corvette

Maybe I should look after it while you're dealing with all this.

[Chewbacca]

Ultimate physician approved REPORTED!!!

[BNA/LION]

*REPORTED*
Go to bed and when you wake up it will be a new day!

[joli160]

I picture seeing you on the ward as in One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest, next to Murphy

[ChiaChiaSM]

Glad you made it out alright, but dayam...

[mountainjogger]

Understandable how this could happen. Particularly when the provider is not familiar with your sense of humor.

Would be interesting to see how this was documented in your medical records.

Would probably read something like this "Crazy old dude wearing a really nice watch indicates intent to self harm. Referral made for psych assessment."

[Beo3]

Well Paul, you’re always asking if your room is ready.

This time it apparently was……

Glad it all worked out though. I would have missed you terribly.

[brandrea]

Originally Posted by mountainjogger

Understandable how this could happen. Particularly when the provider is not familiar with your sense of humor.

Would be interesting to see how this was documented in your medical records.

Would probably read something like this "Crazy old dude wearing a really nice watch indicates intent to self harm. Referral made for psych assessment."

Reminds me of that Seinfeld episode where Elaine becomes obsessed with what her doctor is writing in her records

[superdog]

Should have been committed.

I’ll say it again, my very good friend…you are your own worst enemy.

[Speedbird-1]

I guess it started at an early age.

[GreatScott]

Can I have your watches when you off yourself?

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[DonRickles]

Hmmmmm, and here all along I pictured you a youthful pinnacle of health, at 6'4" and full of muscles?

[Star Ferry]

Businesses are afraid to exercise common sense. They think any deviation from "by the book" procedures will lead to legal liability and/or higher insurance costs.

It's so mindless. Even if you were seriously asking for euthanasia, that isn't the same as being suicidal. It doesn't imply that if the hospital refuses the request, the person will then carry it out themselves. But I just did more analytical thinking than most people have done in the past year, hence why you were escorted to the loony bin.

[train-time]

Paul, They're coming to take you away, Ha-Haaa!

[NimbleNavigator]

I get it’s all a joke. But this guy goes in there acting like a fool and no one knows him. You got exactly what you were asking for, and trying to excuse it all to your doctor phobia. Really stupid and deserved in my opinion.

[Chiboy]

I am glad you aren't afraid to fly as your airport jokes would likely keep you off planes...

Happy you talked them out of it, and slightly surprised you posted it here!

[donas]

You are lucky they didn't carry through. When I was in law enforcement saying you wanted to kill yourself was a wrap, no take backs (as the kids used to say). I've seen many many people committed, at least over night, that I knew were not serious.

[swils8610]

People don’t have a sense of humor anymore Paul!


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[330ci]

Lol 😆

Brings back some memories.... I got really drunk and passed out the morning my ex and I broke up. My mom came over to help me move my stuff and couldn't get in so she called. A Welfare check. I was in the middle of moving my things we can't discuss here collection before passing out. Police came in and there were guns all over my house(they confiscated about 40) and threw me in a hospital for a week. I woke up as they were busting down my door. They told me I could voluntarily go to the hospital or involuntarily but I was going at that point. I had a massive bag of weed I knew they were going to find so I was happy to go.

Was pretty upset when I got home a week later, they literally confiscated a quarter pound and left the almost empty bag.


Glad you didn't have to go to the actual hospital. Being inside one of those places as a reasonably sane person shows how broken and disgusting our mental health system really is

[swils8610]

Anyone remember the Moon River scene from Fletch??


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