100 Days

[Ferdelious]

Congrats Seth! Keep it up!

[Gladiat0r]

Congrats! We all have our struggles. Glad you are facing yours and winning.

[medcoastsol]

congrats and keep it up! 8 years and counting here.

[superdog]

Appreciate the comments guys. Decided against the two week hiatus.

Thinking I’d likely feel guilty. And the entire time I’d wonder if it was a mistake and if I’d regret it…if I didn’t stop again in January. I wouldn’t be able to enjoy myself. So it’s just not worth it.

I have a few disappointed friends that were looking forward to the festivities, but they get it.

Cheers all.

[Easy E]

Be encouraged, you made the right call.

[timepieceluvr]

4151 days in a row here…

I don’t need to change the way I feel with chemistry. Life is meant to be experienced with our full capabilities in play.


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[superdog]

Originally Posted by timepieceluvr

4151 days in a row here…

I don’t need to change the way I feel with chemistry. Life is meant to be experienced with our full capabilities in play.


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I respectfully disagree.

It is not up to you, or me, to decide for anyone else how life I’d meant to be experienced.

I am responsible for myself, and myself only. I won’t judge or try to tell anyone else what their life “should” or should not be.

[timepieceluvr]

Originally Posted by superdog

I respectfully disagree.

It is not up to you, or me, to decide for anyone else how life I’d meant to be experienced.

I am responsible for myself, and myself only. I won’t judge or try to tell anyone else what their life “should” or should not be.

I respectfully defend your right to your opinion. I was speaking for myself and didn’t intend to tell you or anyone else what to do.

I’ll leave judgment to My Father.


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[superdog]

Originally Posted by timepieceluvr

I respectfully defend your right to your opinion. I was speaking for myself and didn’t intend to tell you or anyone else what to do.

I’ll leave judgment to My Father.


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amazing response. all around.

[Star Ferry]

There’s drinking in the Torah and in the Bible. Both support drinking wine, although I think neither supports getting drunk

I live and let live. My approach to not drinking has just been to not drink. I respect anybody who feels they benefit from AA, counseling, rehab, or any other support structure, but I decided to do things more cold turkey. I also respect anybody who chooses to drink alcohol, so long as they are not harming others with their drinking behaviors or being a disruptive nuisance.

also I make sure to be forgiving to myself. At a wedding I would have no problem sipping champagne in the context of a toast. That doesn’t give me even the slightest buzz, is ceremonial in nature, and I don’t count that as “drinking.” I’m also not counting my days of sobriety, so even it does count there is nothing to reset.

[rmlovett1]

I have a few disappointed friends that were looking forward to the festivities, but they get it.


Your friends are disappointed that you’re choosing not to drink ? Or were there actual festivities cancelled?
Not being a di**…..just wasn’t understanding what you meant

[superdog]

Originally Posted by Star Ferry

There’s drinking in the Torah and in the Bible. Both support drinking wine, although I think neither supports getting drunk

I live and let live. My approach to not drinking has just been to not drink. I respect anybody who feels they benefit from AA, counseling, rehab, or any other support structure, but I decided to do things more cold turkey. I also respect anybody who chooses to drink alcohol, so long as they are not harming others with their drinking behaviors or being a disruptive nuisance.

also I make sure to be forgiving to myself. At a wedding I would have no problem sipping champagne in the context of a toast. That doesn’t give me even the slightest buzz, is ceremonial in nature, and I don’t count that as “drinking.” I’m also not counting my days of sobriety, so even it does count there is nothing to reset.

Well said. And fwiw, I’m not actually counting either. I simply stopped Sept 1st. So it was easy to add up. Haven’t much thought about it since, and don’t think I will.

Nothing wrong with counting. I just haven’t paid too much attention to it besides some obvious early milestones.

[superdog]

Originally Posted by Richris1

I have a few disappointed friends that were looking forward to the festivities, but they get it.


Your friends are disappointed that you’re choosing not to drink ? Or were there actual festivities cancelled?
Not being a di**…..just wasn’t understanding what you meant

I understand why my comment came off the way it did.

But no, my friends are very supportive. I’m lucky enough to have a few different friend groups. And I see a lot of them pretty often. And yes, there was always a lot of drinking going on.

I continue to see them a lot. And I enjoy being with them and encourage them to drink around me. It doesn’t bother me a bit. In fact, I enjoy it when they do. Albeit, sometimes, in certain occasions it’s definitely gotten to be too much. And sober Seth does have less fun when buzzed friends turn into intoxicated friends.

That all said, I told a few that I planned on drinking last two weeks of the year. Everyone was planning different outings and fun goings on that involved drinking.

When I told them I wasn’t going to partake they were understandably a little disappointed. I get it. We have a ton of fun together.

We will still enjoy the festivities together. I just won’t be boozing while we do.

I’m grateful and lucky to have extremity supportive pals.

[Star Ferry]

Originally Posted by superdog

Well said. And fwiw, I’m not actually counting either. I simply stopped Sept 1st. So it was easy to add up. Haven’t much thought about it since, and don’t think I will.

Nothing wrong with counting. I just haven’t paid too much attention to it besides some obvious early milestones.

Like I told my girlfriend, I’m making a change I want to make, but I’m not going to treat myself like the judge made sobriety part of the terms of my release

[rmlovett1]

Originally Posted by superdog

I understand why my comment came off the way it did.

But no, my friends are very supportive. I’m lucky enough to have a few different friend groups. And I see a lot of them pretty often. And yes, there was always a lot of drinking going on.

I continue to see them a lot. And I enjoy being with them and encourage them to drink around me. It doesn’t bother me a bit. In fact, I enjoy it when they do. Albeit, sometimes, in certain occasions it’s definitely gotten to be too much. And sober Seth does have less fun when buzzed friends turn into intoxicated friends.

That all said, I told a few that I planned on drinking last two weeks of the year. Everyone was planning different outings and fun goings on that involved drinking.

When I told them I wasn’t going to partake they were understandably a little disappointed. I get it. We have a ton of fun together.

We will still enjoy the festivities together. I just won’t be boozing while we do.

I’m grateful and lucky to have extremity supportive pals.

That is outstanding and great news! My friends were always supportive, and I’m always the dd of the group, which I love. I also love watching the drunkenness unfold during things/festivities, it is fun! When I was drinking, I would’ve normally been right there along with them and oblivious. It’s much more entertaining, amusing, and much more enjoyable being present! Also knowing I will wake up fresh, no grogginess, ready to workout, etc….is a relief, even 7+ yrs later.

[Kowaco]

Best decision you ever made

[HERITAGE82]

Seth, I wont tell you well done for not drinking because I do not feel that warrants that type of adulation. However I will say keep on doing what makes you happy & healthy since that seems to be your motivating factor.

To those that haven't drank in any certain amount of time due to a variety of reasons I'll say I am happy you changed something in your life that was causing you harm. However, I do not feel that not drinking specifically should be praised just like dieting shouldn't be praised either since we as humans should always be self correcting.

I personally struggle with many things like mental health, smoking too much weed and overeating as a crutch however I am the only one that can control if I choose to do these things or seek help. Each time I have overcome these obstacles I look at it as breaking a bad habit and move on to the next stage of improving my life one day at a time.

When I begin measuring the time from my last hit of pot or whole pizza etc it feels like I am punishing myself by having to restart some clock if I decide to partake in whatever activity I was avoiding. That resetting of an imaginary clock has detrimental effects on the motivation to continue being better each day which should be enough motivation in it self.

So to end my rant I'll say that if the activity you are trying to correct isn't hurting others and you have a desire to do such activity on certain occasions don't let the fact that some clock resets tomorrow not allow you to enjoy today to the fullest even if that is doing something unhealthy with friends.

[AkshayArgade]

I dont drink I dont smoke-- I dont miss it-- plus money stays in my pocket.

which I use for travel.

[joeychitwood]

Originally Posted by HERITAGE82

I do not feel that not drinking specifically should be praised just like dieting shouldn't be praised either since we as humans should always be self correcting.

The following comments don’t relate to Seth, but having watched as an ER doc about 90% of chemically dependent people fail in attempts to abstain, I have to disagree. It’s a disease of the brain that devastates individuals, families and innocent bystanders. If someone is able to somehow gain control over a disease with one of the highest mortality rates in medicine, that’s worthy of praise. And because all of legitimate organized medicine classifies chemical dependency as a disease, I won’t engage in a debate over whether it is or not.

[Star Ferry]

Originally Posted by joeychitwood

The following comments don’t relate to Seth, but having watched as an ER doc about 90% of chemically dependent people fail in attempts to abstain, I have to disagree. It’s a disease of the brain that devastates individuals, families and innocent bystanders. If someone is able to somehow gain control over a disease with one of the highest mortality rates in medicine, that’s worthy of praise. And because all of legitimate organized medicine classifies chemical dependency as a disease, I won’t engage in a debate over whether it is or not.

Totally accept that the medical field decides what constitutes a medical issue. But in my field (law) drinking alcohol is generally considered a voluntary act, regardless of addiction or dependency. Actions performed while intoxicated are also generally considered voluntary acts.

Our laws are applying a strict “personal choice” framework regardless of what the medical field says. Which is yet another reason for folks to address any problem behaviors related to alcohol. If you have a seizure or heart attack while driving, you’re not going to be charged with a crime, even if you ate McDonald’s and Papa John’s against your doctor’s advice for 20 years. If you drive drunk due to the disease of alcohol addiction and kill someone, you are going to jail.

[HERITAGE82]

Originally Posted by joeychitwood

The following comments don’t relate to Seth, but having watched as an ER doc about 90% of chemically dependent people fail in attempts to abstain, I have to disagree. It’s a disease of the brain that devastates individuals, families and innocent bystanders. If someone is able to somehow gain control over a disease with one of the highest mortality rates in medicine, that’s worthy of praise. And because all of legitimate organized medicine classifies chemical dependency as a disease, I won’t engage in a debate over whether it is or not.

I appreciate your clear medical response and am not looking for a debate either. Breaking bad habits deserves recognition just not to the level that I feel is being portrayed. I take greater issue with the counting of days strictly due to the fact that it becomes a larger than life number which if it were reset it can send the person into a spiral. Again if you are harming yourself or others due to said activity have it be drugs/alcohol/eating/gambling/womanizing etc then perhaps the counting helps keep yourself accountable to not fall back into hurting yourself or others.

Counting days to the casual person I feel just puts us in a state of not wanting to break the number. Therefore leaving the possibility of missing out or not enjoying something to its fullest, not due to lack of restraint but to just not break the streak.

[joeychitwood]

Originally Posted by Star Ferry

Totally accept that the medical field decides what constitutes a medical issue. But in my field (law) drinking alcohol is generally considered a voluntary act, regardless of addiction or dependency. Actions performed while intoxicated are also generally considered voluntary acts.

Our laws are applying a strict “personal choice” framework regardless of what the medical field says. Which is yet another reason for folks to address any problem behaviors related to alcohol. If you have a seizure or heart attack while driving, you’re not going to be charged with a crime, even if you ate McDonald’s and Papa John’s against your doctor’s advice for 20 years. If you drive drunk due to the disease of alcohol addiction and kill someone, you are going to jail.

Originally Posted by HERITAGE82

I appreciate your clear medical response and am not looking for a debate either. Breaking bad habits deserves recognition just not to the level that I feel is being portrayed. I take greater issue with the counting of days strictly due to the fact that it becomes a larger than life number which if it were reset it can send the person into a spiral. Again if you are harming yourself or others due to said activity have it be drugs/alcohol/eating/gambling/womanizing etc then perhaps the counting helps keep yourself accountable to not fall back into hurting yourself or others.

Counting days to the casual person I feel just puts us in a state of not wanting to break the number. Therefore leaving the possibility of missing out or not enjoying something to its fullest, not due to lack of restraint but to just not break the streak.

You both make valid points.

[Knappo 1307]

Originally Posted by HERITAGE82

Seth, I wont tell you well done for not drinking because I do not feel that warrants that type of adulation. However I will say keep on doing what makes you happy & healthy since that seems to be your motivating factor.

To those that haven't drank in any certain amount of time due to a variety of reasons I'll say I am happy you changed something in your life that was causing you harm. However, I do not feel that not drinking specifically should be praised just like dieting shouldn't be praised either since we as humans should always be self correcting.

I personally struggle with many things like mental health, smoking too much weed and overeating as a crutch however I am the only one that can control if I choose to do these things or seek help. Each time I have overcome these obstacles I look at it as breaking a bad habit and move on to the next stage of improving my life one day at a time.

When I begin measuring the time from my last hit of pot or whole pizza etc it feels like I am punishing myself by having to restart some clock if I decide to partake in whatever activity I was avoiding. That resetting of an imaginary clock has detrimental effects on the motivation to continue being better each day which should be enough motivation in it self.

So to end my rant I'll say that if the activity you are trying to correct isn't hurting others and you have a desire to do such activity on certain occasions don't let the fact that some clock resets tomorrow not allow you to enjoy today to the fullest even if that is doing something unhealthy with friends.

Originally Posted by HERITAGE82

I appreciate your clear medical response and am not looking for a debate either. Breaking bad habits deserves recognition just not to the level that I feel is being portrayed. I take greater issue with the counting of days strictly due to the fact that it becomes a larger than life number which if it were reset it can send the person into a spiral. Again if you are harming yourself or others due to said activity have it be drugs/alcohol/eating/gambling/womanizing etc then perhaps the counting helps keep yourself accountable to not fall back into hurting yourself or others.

Counting days to the casual person I feel just puts us in a state of not wanting to break the number. Therefore leaving the possibility of missing out or not enjoying something to its fullest, not due to lack of restraint but to just not break the streak.

Well stated and agree.

[OverGeared]

Originally Posted by HERITAGE82

Seth, I wont tell you well done for not drinking because I do not feel that warrants that type of adulation.

I've thought long and hard about this, because I don't want to come off as reactionary or combative here. I understand your point of view, but I also think your point of view is seriously narrow. I'm guessing the act of not drinking is very easy for you, and you rightfully wouldn't feel justified in receiving praise for abstaining.

But I urge you to go back and read more of the comments in this thread, or do a google/youtube search for AA testimonials. For a lot of people, quitting drinking is a very difficult task, and for some the choice to not drink is one they struggle to make every single day. Those people absolutely, 100% deserve a congratulations, a high five, a thumbs up... anything and everything offered to them in a show of support.

What's easy for one person isn't necessarily easy for the next. My wife is a runner. Her idea of a good Saturday morning is nine to eleven miles before breakfast. I can't run. I'm not in bad shape, but I just suck at the act of running. A few years ago, I did a charity 10k and despite training for it for several weeks beforehand, I thought I was going to die. Everything hurt by the last kilometer, and my knees felt like they were going to shatter with every step forward. With around 500m to go, I rounded a corner and there was a gang of volunteers cheering and screaming and ringing cowbells. My wife (who'd finished waay ahead of me) said later that she didn't even notice them, but I hung onto their cheers like a lifeline. When you're not sure of yourself, having people - even strangers - saying "you can do it!" really, really helps. I can't stress that enough.

[HERITAGE82]

Originally Posted by OverGeared

I've thought long and hard about this, because I don't want to come off as reactionary or combative here. I understand your point of view, but I also think your point of view is seriously narrow. I'm guessing the act of not drinking is very easy for you, and you rightfully wouldn't feel justified in receiving praise for abstaining.

When you're not sure of yourself, having people - even strangers - saying "you can do it!" really, really helps. I can't stress that enough.

Giving up things I enjoy is incredibly difficult for me.

I have an addictive personality. I give up one vise for another so I am not narrow minded to the thought that making decisions to improve our lives by eliminating something that is enjoyed (too much) and is causing harm is incredibly difficult. However, I find the praise of a person not doing something harmful difficult to grasp. Do we praise criminals for not committing crime?

As The good doctor above mentioned above addiction is perhaps a mental health issue therefore seeking help or treatment should be praised because realizing a persons behavior is destructive is the key. However, not doing such behavior once identified no longer warrants the praise. The way I see it we are responsible for our actions once identified and if we choose to not do these harmful activities or acts then we are just making the correct choice.

Your comparison to the running the 10k is not the same since you were doing an athletic feat and there was no right or wrong compass to guide you. People were just cheering you on to the finish line much like fans cheer on athletes at sporting events.

[MrGoat]

Originally Posted by HERITAGE82

Giving up things I enjoy is incredibly difficult for me. I have an addictive personality. I give up one vise for another

IMO this doesn’t sound like a moral compass issue at all. It sounds like you’re jealous that some can quit an addiction without adding another and you cannot. Therefore you’ve not received that praise and desperately want it. I’m not judging I’m just relaying how your posts have come across to me.

Also, just because someone is an alcoholic doesn’t mean they’re a criminal. Or just because someone broke the law 20 yrs ago doesn’t mean they are forever bound to break the law. I think ANYONE that changes their life for the better deserves recognition for it. I’m not privy to their struggles, I don’t know what demons they fight with every single day. So who am I to judge if one person should receive praise but another shouldn’t?

As was stated in this thread earlier. There is no right answer for everyone. We are all different.


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[HERITAGE82]

Originally Posted by MrGoat

IMO this doesn’t sound like a moral compass issue at all. It sounds like you’re jealous that some can quit an addiction without adding another and you cannot. Therefore you’ve not received that praise and desperately want it. I’m not judging I’m just relaying how your posts have come across to me.


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I had a feeling that me stating one vise for another would strike a cord. Allow me to clarify… I exchange a bad habit that has a hold on me for a good habit. Like instead of smoking a blunt I do a hundred push-ups. I did not say go exchange one bad habit for another. I was simply stating that I understand addiction and how it can be used as a positive since the other post said that perhaps not drinking was easy for me etc.

You actually have it backwards about me wanting praise. Ironically when family or friends have praised me for changing behavior I become perplexed because being told good job for not doing something harmful doesn’t make sense. Better to say “you finally came to your senses and quit doing that bad habit”.

I never said that an alcoholic is a criminal. What I stated and I still stand by is that criminals shouldn’t be praised for not committing crime. I also didn’t state people can’t be rehabilitated.

If a person changes a destructive behavior, whatever it may be, that is a good thing but I do not believe it deserves a pat on the back. We are accountable for our actions and the demons that may cause them are for us to control (aside from true mental health issues).

I was aware that my post would be met with the thought that I didn’t understand something, however I was just expressing another view point which is why we are all here to share our thoughts.

[MrGoat]

Originally Posted by HERITAGE82

I had a feeling that me stating one vise for another would strike a cord. Allow me to clarify… I exchange a bad habit that has a hold on me for a good habit. Like instead of smoking a blunt I do a hundred push-ups. I did not say go exchange one bad habit for another. I was simply stating that I understand addiction and how it can be used as a positive since the other post said that perhaps not drinking was easy for me etc.

You actually have it backwards about me wanting praise. Ironically when family or friends have praised me for changing behavior I become perplexed because being told good job for not doing something harmful doesn’t make sense. Better to say “you finally came to your senses and quit doing that bad habit”.

I never said that an alcoholic is a criminal. What I stated and I still stand by is that criminals shouldn’t be praised for not committing crime. I also didn’t state people can’t be rehabilitated.

If a person changes a destructive behavior, whatever it may be, that is a good thing but I do not believe it deserves a pat on the back. We are accountable for our actions and the demons that may cause them are for us to control (aside from true mental health issues).

I was aware that my post would be met with the thought that I didn’t understand something, however I was just expressing another view point which is why we are all here to share our thoughts.

Obviously I misunderstood “I give up one vice for another”. Apparently my understanding and Merriam-Webster’s definition of the word are different than yours.
Unless you meant 1.C. But then that would insinuate the first vice was just a habit. Semantics I guess.

I am not high and mighty enough to decide who deserves or doesn’t deserve praise for doing something to better themselves. The recognition for overcoming their struggle could be what helps them get through tough days.

I’d rather spend my energy on helping people better themselves. Even if that means telling the kid that works for me (that has a criminal record) that he made a good decision and I’m proud of him because he came to me and told me “those guys I used to hang out with kept texting me last night and I didn’t respond.” I’d like to think my impression on and encouragement of this young man and others that I’m around daily has had an impact on their lives and given them some direction for the better.


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[HERITAGE82]

Originally Posted by MrGoat

Obviously I misunderstood “I give up one vice for another”.

I am not high and mighty enough to decide who deserves or doesn’t deserve praise for doing something to better themselves. The recognition for overcoming their struggle could be what helps them get through tough days.

I’d rather spend my energy on helping people better themselves. Even if that means telling the kid that works for me that has a criminal record he made a good decision and I’m proud of him because he came to me and told me “those guys I used to hang out with kept texting me last night and I didn’t respond.”


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None of us are high or mighty. Just have different approaches to things, and mine may be a bit more in the expectation / tough love category. If your approach is different then that is what makes the world a diverse place. Good on you to give the kid an opportunity and I’m glad he is making the right decisions now to keep his life on track.

I respect your approach. I also appreciate the thought provoking aspect of your post. Hopefully we can all be allowed to express our thoughts and perhaps provoke new thoughts in others.

[MrGoat]

Originally Posted by HERITAGE82

None of us are high or mighty. Just have different approaches to things, and mine may be a bit more in the expectation / tough love category. If your approach is different then that is what makes the world a diverse place. Good on you to give the kid an opportunity and I’m glad he is making the right decisions now to keep his life on track.

I respect your approach. I also appreciate the thought provoking aspect of your post. Hopefully we can all be allowed to express our thoughts and perhaps provoke new thoughts in others.

Thanks. Don’t get me wrong. I’m tough love too. It all depends on the situation and the individual. They’re all different. It’s a constantly changing environment. In this day and age retaining personnel is paramount, you can’t just be one dimensional and make everyone happy. So you’ve got to adapt.

My guys are family.


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