Flying commercial. Please let me know what to expect

[Chewbacca]

Friends, investors and people of great means (wealthy), my 787 SP is being ‘held’ (unwealthy people’s revenge tax) due to an unpaid (mis filed) fuel bill payment, and I’m now stuck in Reykjavík after taking a therapy bath for my various ailments attributed to breathing normal (unwealthy) air.

So I need to fly coach for my EA interviews later today because my backup 737 island hopper is getting an oil change.

So how does this work?

Does someone carry you to your section? Do you tip your designated pilot and hospitality director?

This is the injustice we Rolex investors don’t need to deal with!

[SDGT3]

Are you a Nigerian prince that is looking to recover a few million but just need a quick $5000 filing fee? Please let us know as this is just uncivilized for you to travel in such a fashion.

[Chewbacca]

Originally Posted by SDGT3

Are you a Nigerian prince that is looking to recover a few million but just need a quick $5000 filing fee? Please let us know as this is just uncivilized for you to travel in such a fashion.

My bank (MY personal bank) has funds. That’s not the issue. I simply don’t know what to expect from travelling coach. My mother (embalmed in wealthy family mausoleum) always said to avoid it.

[037]

The most luxurious seat in coach is at the very last row. This allows you to monitor all of the peasants forced to sit in front of you.

[Chewbacca]

Originally Posted by 037

The most luxurious seat in coach is at the very last row. This allows you to monitor all of the peasants forced to sit in front of you.

Yes. Yes. This is the first person advice I need.

Thank you fellow investor.

[2001jesper]

Ask at check-in to be carried around the airport on the back of lounge-assistant, to avoid mingling with the common people. Take two sanitising wipes upon boarding and while being escorted to your seat, so you can shower it with disinfectants. In these times, a loud and continuous cough can secure space around you.

[Chewbacca]

Originally Posted by 2001jesper

Ask at check-in to be carried around the airport on the back of lounge-assistant, to avoid mingling with the common people. Take two sanitising wipes upon boarding and while being escorted to your seat, so you can shower that seat with disinfectants. In these times, a loud and continuous cough can secure space around you.

Incredible.

The pan handlers guide to ‘take my money but don’t breathe on me’ access.

Brilliant (wealthy) advice.

Thank you

[TheVTCGuy]

CJ You haven’t been wearing your helmet lately have you?

[airchitect]

Be sure to take treats or cash with you to hand out to the flight custodians. Peasants don’t do this so it will automatically put you at the front of the list for all of their services. Also, be sure to bring Vaseline. It can be rough squeezing in and out of the crevices they call lavatories sometimes. And be aware, there will be no gold faucets or toilets. I recommend bringing your own if possible


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Chewbacca]

Originally Posted by TheVTCGuy

CJ You haven’t been wearing your helmet lately have you?

You’re supposed to be my pilot!! You’re under my employ!!

[SDGT3]

One more tip..... Airlines no longer serve alcohol to those not in 1st or business classes. Apparently the lower classes cannot handle their liquor so a couple trips to the bathroom with those minibar size bottles for a quick drink is the way to take the edge off. Fortunately for you sitting in steerage, the walk to the bathroom isn't too far.

[BNA/LION]

* REPORTED *

[Blansky]

Originally Posted by Chewbacca

So I need to fly coach for my EA interviews later today because my backup 737 island hopper is getting an oil change.

!

OMG......The HORROR....................The HUMANITY.


Gird your loins, it's gonna be a bumpy ride.

[HHIslander]

If you aren’t boarded first, you’re last.

[JasoninDenver]

Be sure to demand that you be seated adjacent to the “Throne Room” at the back of the plane.

[2bigalow]

How ironic Chewy! My Airbus A480 (larger prototype model) is currently parked in Iceland having the tire air pressure check and replaced. Little know fact, but Artic air is the safest air money can buy. I'm currently on my icebreaker yacht for an expedition to the artic in search of the elusive, some say extinct, Artic fruit fly, more commonly know as Arctis Frutis. Not sure how many years this is gonna take, so feel free to borrow it as along as you need. Wish me luck!

Oh, and as a favor to my staff, please wire $5,000,000 (account number sent via PM) so I can tip them appropriately. They really deserve it.

[Blansky]

My wife arranges all my airline travel and I ALWAYS fly First Class.

Although I do question why she's at the front of the plane and I'm at the back.

But she says she does it so she can exit first and go get the rental car, and by the time I get off, the destroyed bags are ready to be picked up.

She's always thinking of me.

[NAVY]

Dear Lord ...

[AzPaul]

Make a few jokes about being a hijacker, or better yet, that you're carrying a bomb.
Airline workers have difficult jobs and enjoy a good laugh more than most.

[Dyim]

Don’t do it.

PM me your coordinates and I will send my G700 to pick you up. Won’t take long. It is actually at YHZ right now. Unfortunately you will have to ride in whatever plebeian car that is available to the airport.

[Chewbacca]

This is the positive valuable advice only people like us (wealthy) know and share freely. All the others (not wealthy) could learn something from us all.

[Richard6129]

Fly coach? For a man of your stature and renown I think not. Here's how it truly works. Upon arrival at the airport,you are met by your coterie of trusted friends and advisors. then you are ushered into the Presidential VIP area for light drinks and Hors d'oeuvres. After you are suitably refreshed. your body guards from SEAL Team 6 escort you through the airport(bypassing TSA checkpoints of course)to meet your plane. Upon hearing of your most unfortunate circumstanse, the Saudi royal family has graciously put their 747 at your disposal indefinitely. Tipping the servants on board? Unthinkable! It is their high honor to serve you. In fact they requested not to be compensated as just being in your proximity is worth more than words can adequitely convey.

[Chewbacca]

Originally Posted by Richard6129

Fly coach? For a man of your stature and renown I think not. Here's how it truly works. Upon arrival at the airport,you are met by your coterie of trusted friends and advisors. then you are ushered into the Presidential VIP area for light drinks and Hors d'oeuvres. After you are suitably refreshed. your body guards from SEAL Team 6 escort you through the airport(bypassing TSA checkpoints of course)to meet your plane. Upon hearing of your most unfortunate circumstanse, the Saudi royal family has graciously put their 747 at your disposal indefinitely. Tipping the servants on board? Unthinkable! It is their high honor to serve you. In fact they requested not to be compensated as just being in your proximity is worth more than words con adequitely convey.

My Help will be in touch to schedule a meeting. I like your thinking.

[ecdc]

The best drinking water on the plane comes out of the restroom's sink. They will tell you it's not potable, but that's just a ruse so the flight attendants and pilots can have it all for themselves.

Originally Posted by Chewbacca

Friends, investors and people of great means (wealthy), my 787 SP is being ‘held’ (unwealthy people’s revenge tax) due to an unpaid (mis filed) fuel bill payment, and I’m now stuck in Reykjavík after taking a therapy bath for my various ailments attributed to breathing normal (unwealthy) air.

So I need to fly coach for my EA interviews later today because my backup 737 island hopper is getting an oil change.

So how does this work?

Does someone carry you to your section? Do you tip your designated pilot and hospitality director?

This is the injustice we Rolex investors don’t need to deal with!

[OYptL]

350 lb men (or women) like myself who will dominate the arm rests and use the lavatory every half hour depending on drinks.

[Moondoggy]

Always the back seat, ever seen a plane back into a mountain.

[East Bay Rider]

Demand to sit in front, next to the pilot, behind the locked door.
Nothing else will do.

[037]

Demand to sit on the pilot's lap.

[Blansky]

Originally Posted by Moondoggy

Always the back seat, ever seen a plane back into a mountain.

See. My wife IS looking after me.

[ERH]

What is Coach?