Story of my life….

[TheVTCGuy]

I asked a (very) young lady out yesterday. I have dated younger women in the past, even had a three + year with a nice woman who was much younger then myself. Of course it was not permanent, and we both knew that, but we had a great time together, that’s all that really matters right? So.. on to yesterday…

There is a store that I frequent, well, I’ll never go in there again as long as I live but the manager is a young (30 ish) lady that I have known for a long time. We talk and joke a lot when I am in there, I make her laugh and she seemed to enjoy my company. So, what the hell, yesterday I asked her to lunch.

Me: “Let me take you to lunch tomorrow, by any chance are you attracted to short, fat, ugly, old men with no money or personality?”

Her: (Long pause, looks at me). “You’re not fat….. … … … “

I guess I am just the rest of them…. Sigh….

Oh, she was very nice but… “has a boyfriend” Wink wink.

Is it too late to become a Priest?

[77T]

At your age, better a Monk, Paul

Tibetan Monk - walk the Earth like Caine

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[GradyPhilpott]

I remember the first time a very attractive young lady at a bar addressed me as sir. I was 30. I guess that's the way they put you in your place.

[Beo3]

Don't stress it.

You miss ever ball that you don't swing at, right?

[Star Ferry]

A 30 year old is a millennial who was born in the 1990s. Fully grown adult but quite young if you’re 50+. My girlfriend is older than 30 and I’m probably decades your junior

Anyway, can’t blame you for shooting your shot. Next time just ask a woman if she’d like to go out for drinks or dinner. Nothing romantic typically happens after a lunch. Recommend not calling yourself poor, ugly, old, or any other pejorative. Ask the question straight and force her into a yes or no

[TheVTCGuy]

There was some good outcome of this, as I was crawling out of the store I found a penny on the floor.

[brandrea]

I’m glad I’m not dating

In the future, there are subtle ways to determine whether she’s single without sticking your neck out there, but I admire your moxie Paul

[TK-710]

Next time remember managers get paid to laugh at customers’ jokes. But good for you on trying.

You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. - Wayne Gretzky - - Michael Scott.

[enjoythemusic]

Hmmmm...

I vote for 'more happiness'.

[dmash]

Originally Posted by Star Ferry

force her into a yes or no

lol ok turbo

[TheVTCGuy]

Hey, I DID find the Penny

[TheVTCGuy]

For the record!!!

She said if she didn’t have a boyfriend she would go out with me I mean, that HAS to be true right?

She really is attracted to me

[77T]

Was the penny “heads up”, or other side?…

Maybe you do have a chance.
Start sending flowers, no card, just flowers…


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[Star Ferry]

Originally Posted by dmash

lol ok turbo

What’s a turbo? If you want an answer, ask the question. Can’t force anyone to go out with you, but if you ask clearly you’re more likely to get an answer. In this case she disputed the self deprecating jokes to avoid having to give a real answer

Frankly I am tired of interacting with folks like yourself. If you have nothing to add to the conversation other than sarcastic insults, take a hike and stop wasting the electricity

[Ferdelious]

I'm not an expert on the subject by any means but maybe a more confident approach would work better next time. Probably not the case here because she is already taken. I feel that women tend to be attracted to confident men and even though you were joking it can still come off as having low self-esteem.

Go for you on making the attempt, a lot of men don't even try.

[MrGoat]

Paul, my man. We need to have a conversation outside TRF. You’re so much more than you think you are and portray yourself as.

Quick tips for any interactions with women from this point on.

1. Confidence is essential. (Who wants a guy that doesn’t think he’s the best?)

2. Lunch is how you get straight friendzoned. (Go big or go home dateless)

3. Strong moves. (Don’t fall in line with all the others she’s dated, set yourself apart and be that man)

4. Read the room, there’s probably at least 10 women that check you out on a daily basis. Find them, engage with eye contact and be friendly and aloof. The more social you are and the more practice you have the more this will help #1.

5. Never ever ever ever ever ever beat yourself down. EVER!! You may feel like the things you said but you most likely aren’t all or any of those to her. (We are all our own worst critic right?) Let her decide what she likes and doesn’t with you.


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[austinp]

Shooters shoot! Keep firing my man.


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[dmash]

Originally Posted by Star Ferry

What’s a turbo? If you want an answer, ask the question. Can’t force anyone to go out with you, but if you ask clearly you’re more likely to get an answer. In this case she disputed the self deprecating jokes to avoid having to give a real answer

Frankly I am tired of interacting with folks like yourself. If you have nothing to add to the conversation other than sarcastic insults, take a hike and stop wasting the electricity

That wasn't even an insult It was simply funny because the verbiage you used when approaching a female for a conversation is 'FORCE her into a yes or no'. As if they can't even think about it, it's got to be now. Even more weird as you claim NYC as your location, but seem sensitive to banter.

Hope your day improves bud!

[AzPaul]

As long as it wasn't your favorite TUMI store, you'll bounce back.

. . . . . please tell me it wasn't your favorite TUMI store

[ltmgeller]

Originally Posted by TheVTCGuy

There was some good outcome of this, as I was crawling out of the store I found a penny on the floor.

[Star Ferry]

Originally Posted by dmash

That wasn't even an insult It was simply funny because the verbiage you used when approaching a female for a conversation is 'FORCE her into a yes or no'. As if they can't even think about it, it's got to be now. Even more weird as you claim NYC as your location, but seem sensitive to banter.

Hope your day improves bud!

And now you’re back with a condescending “bud” — the problem here isn’t my day, it’s your tone. Obviously I didn’t mean “force” literally and am not suggesting to coerce a woman in any way. I am using force to mean pressure, not coercion. As for location, yes I am in NYC, as I lack your skill of being three places at once.

[MrGoat]

Originally Posted by Star Ferry

And now you’re back with a condescending “bud” — the problem here isn’t my day, it’s your tone. Obviously I didn’t mean “force” literally and am not suggesting to coerce a woman in any way. I am using force to mean pressure, not coercion. As for location, yes I am in NYC, as I lack your skill of being three places at once.

I’m not part or this pissing match, I don’t know either of you. I agreed with your initial comment in this thread till the “force” line came up.

My experience women are like horses and you’re not going to force them into anything they don’t feel they want to do. Maybe I just have dated stronger women than you. That’s ok.

As this has progressed I see your latest comment, “I am using force to mean PRESSURE, not coercion”.

I have never met a woman that reacts in a happy manner when pressured as well as when they’re forced. So as helpful as your thought may have been intended it’s not at all acceptable to “force” or “pressure” a woman into dating you in this day and age. It may still work for you and that’s ok I guess, just glad they’re not my daughter.


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[Star Ferry]

Originally Posted by MrGoat

I’m not part or this pissing match, I don’t know either of you. I agreed with your initial comment in this thread till the “force” line came up.

My experience women are like horses and you’re not going to force them into anything they don’t feel they want to do. Maybe I just have dated stronger women than you. That’s ok.

As this has progressed I see your latest comment, “I am using force to mean PRESSURE, not coercion”.

I have never met a woman that reacts in a happy manner when pressured as well as when they’re forced. So as helpful as your thought may have been intended it’s not at all acceptable to “force” or “pressure” a woman into dating you in this day and age. It may still work for you and that’s ok I guess, just glad they’re not my daughter.


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The point sir, is to try to elicit a response (yes or no), not to force the woman to do anything she doesn’t fully want. Once the “no” is obtained it’s easier for the man to move on and try his luck elsewhere.

I have seen men ask a woman out, get a wishy washy deflecting answer, and then “just be friends” with women for years while holding onto hope.

I think the other gentleman was being rude and I stand by that. As for my comment on “forcing” I apologize if it offended anyone

[dmash]

Originally Posted by Star Ferry

And now you’re back with a condescending “bud” — the problem here isn’t my day, it’s your tone. Obviously I didn’t mean “force” literally and am not suggesting to coerce a woman in any way. I am using force to mean pressure, not coercion. As for location, yes I am in NYC, as I lack your skill of being three places at once.

Okay well since you want to continue on, despite just taking a step back, let's delve into this.

Your communication entails talking to people, man or woman, and think you have the authority to 'pressure' them into an answer on something? Any person is within his or her right to simply say 'not sure', 'ill think about it', 'I dont know' and that's completely fine. To 'force' anybody into an answer is a guaranteed way to make people feel uncomfortable. We're not discussing a sales pitch to close a client, we're discussing basic communication between human beings.


Also, hypocritical much with you constantly claiming I'm being rude (yet I never was), then you close this response with a sarcastic remark. Again, I think you're just having a bad day.

[MrGoat]

Originally Posted by Star Ferry

The point sir, is to try to elicit a response (yes or no), not to force the woman to do anything she doesn’t fully want. Once the “no” is obtained it’s easier for the man to move on and try his luck elsewhere.

I have seen men ask a woman out, get a wishy washy deflecting answer, and then “just be friends” with women for years while holding onto hope.

I think the other gentleman was being rude and I stand by that. As for my comment on “forcing” I apologize if it offended anyone

No reason to call me sir.

I understand what you’re trying to say and agree if I understand it correctly. The wording may have been confused.

So essentially you’re saying “if a man directly asks a woman to a date” that only leaves one of two options. Right?

Wouldn’t that require the man to be confident?

It doesn’t matter how confident the man is, sometimes you get shot down or you get a lame excuse because she is trying to save your feelings. It’s a numbers game and it requires a man with thick enough skin and enough resolve to move past the no’s and the bs (a woman trying to not hurt what little manhood you displayed to her) answers.

Out of curiosity, had your method worked for a long term lasting relationship?


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[dmash]

Originally Posted by MrGoat

I have never met a woman that reacts in a happy manner when pressured as well as when they’re forced. So as helpful as your thought may have been intended it’s not at all acceptable to “force” or “pressure” a woman into dating you in this day and age. It may still work for you and that’s ok I guess, just glad they’re not my daughter.


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HUGE +1, having a daughter myself.

[superdog]

Holy cow.

You guys all need a time out.

@Paul, you are my boy. We have a friendship outside of TRF. And I’ve been telling you for years to stop the self deprecation. It’s simply not becoming. To anyone. Ever. In any way. Ever. It will never ever help get you where you want to be. Ever.

If you don’t feel confident, fake it until you make it.

Dating is a numbers have. Don’t be insulted by a no. It’s just like sales. And there are a million reasons why you might get rejected. Let it go and move on.

Your a good dude with a great heart. You were a freakin fighter pilot bro. Cmon. Enough with your whiny stuff. Man up my brother. Howl at the moon. Growl. Bark. Be the wolf.

[Cru Jones]

[swils8610]

Keep swinging the bat Paul! Eventually you will connect!


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[MrGoat]

Originally Posted by superdog

Holy cow.

You guys all need a time out.

@Paul, you are my boy. We have a friendship outside of TRF. And I’ve been telling you for years to stop the self deprecation. It’s simply not becoming. To anyone. Ever. In any way. Ever. It will never ever help get you where you want to be. Ever.

If you don’t feel confident, fake it until you make it.

Dating is a numbers have. Don’t be insulted by a no. It’s just like sales. And there are a million reasons why you might get rejected. Let it go and move on.

Your a good dude with a great heart. You were a freakin fighter pilot bro. Cmon. Enough with your whiny stuff. Man up my brother. Howl at the moon. Growl. Bark. Be the would.

Seth coming in clutch!! 100% agree with this!!


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