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Idle Swede · 12 August 2010, 11:55 PM

A blonde and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog. It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours.

The blonde jumps up out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this." She goes downstairs.

The blonde finally comes back up to bed and her husband says "The dog is still barking; what have you been doing?"

The blonde says, "I put the dog in our backyard, let's see how THEY like it!

BASSETHOUNDS · 13 August 2010, 12:00 AM

LOL .. Is that what happened last night ,Leo ??

Idle Swede · 13 August 2010, 12:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BASSETHOUNDS

LOL .. Is that what happened last night ,Leo ??

Nah, she wasn't THAT smart.

Idle Swede · 13 August 2010, 12:03 AM

Two Blondes With Hammers...

Lynn and Judy were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity House.
Lynn was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in.

Judy, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, 'Why are you throwing those nails away?'

Lynn explained, 'When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away.'

Judy got completely upset and yelled, 'You moron! Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!'

Idle Swede · 13 August 2010, 12:08 AM

Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie?

They had gone to see "Closed for the Winter".

Idle Swede · 13 August 2010, 12:14 AM

You might have to think twice about this one..

A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. 'How did this happen?' the emergency room doctor asked her.

'Well, I was trying to commit suicide,' the blonde replied.

'What?' sputtered the doctor. 'You tried to commit suicide by shooting off your finger?'

'No, Silly' the blonde said. 'First I put the gun to my chest, and then I thought, 'I just paid $6, 000.00 for these implants....

I'm not shooting myself in the chest.'

'So then?' asked the doctor.

'Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought, 'I just paid $3,000.00 to get my teeth straightened I'm not shooting myself in the mouth.'

'So then?'

'Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: 'This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger.

B Square · 13 August 2010, 12:17 AM

darthmouse · 13 August 2010, 12:22 AM

Idle Swede · 13 August 2010, 12:26 AM

A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad hailstorm.. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun.... He told her to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.

So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe.. Nothing happened.. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened.

Her blonde roommate saw her and asked, 'What are you doing?' The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.

The roommate rolled her eyes and said, 'Uh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first.'

Idle Swede · 13 August 2010, 12:28 AM

A blonde was shopping at Target and came across a shiny silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took It to the clerk to ask what it was.

The clerk said, 'Why, that's a thermos..... It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold.'

'Wow, said the blonde, 'that's amazing....I'm going to buy it!' So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day..

Her boss saw it on her desk. 'What's that,' he asked?

'Why, that's a thermos..... It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold,' she replied..

Her boss inquired, 'What do you have in it?'

The blond replied.......'Two popsicles and some coffee.'

Idle Swede · 13 August 2010, 12:30 AM

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST --

A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss asked sympathetically, 'What's the matter?'

The blonde replies, 'early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away.'

The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, 'Why don't you go home for the day? Take the day off to relax and rest'

'Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here.'

The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. A couple of hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out from his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically...

'What's so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?' he asks..

'No!' exclaims the blonde. 'I just received a horrible call from my sister. Her mother died, too!'

dalip · 13 August 2010, 12:32 AM

Adopted

B Square · 13 August 2010, 12:34 AM

Made me lol

rfknauss · 13 August 2010, 04:57 AM

figbo · 13 August 2010, 05:32 AM

sleddog · 13 August 2010, 10:18 AM

Classic!

Chipmunk · 13 August 2010, 10:23 AM

sleddog · 13 August 2010, 10:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by B Square

Lots'a blond jokes today!!

limbo · 13 August 2010, 06:22 PM

swatty · 13 August 2010, 06:53 PM

Prince · 13 August 2010, 09:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sleddog1000

Lots'a blond jokes today!!

Not so many threads now, though.

Lion · 13 August 2010, 10:15 PM

Yikes!!!

JJ Irani · 14 August 2010, 06:36 AM

DCgator · 14 August 2010, 07:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JJ Irani

Same as above....

blackmsport · 14 August 2010, 09:03 AM

can we have a break from Blonde Jokes and next week is Irish Jone week please

dysondiver · 14 August 2010, 09:09 AM

i love the blonde jokes ,,, well done

12 August 2010, 11:55 PM	#1
Idle Swede Suspended Join Date: Oct 2008 Real Name: Leo Location: Boca Raton Posts: 13,820	Blonde Joke(s)......... A blonde and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog. It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours. The blonde jumps up out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this." She goes downstairs. The blonde finally comes back up to bed and her husband says "The dog is still barking; what have you been doing?" The blonde says, "I put the dog in our backyard, let's see how THEY like it!

13 August 2010, 12:03 AM	#4
Idle Swede Suspended Join Date: Oct 2008 Real Name: Leo Location: Boca Raton Posts: 13,820	Blonde Joke......... Two Blondes With Hammers... Lynn and Judy were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity House. Lynn was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in. Judy, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, 'Why are you throwing those nails away?' Lynn explained, 'When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away.' Judy got completely upset and yelled, 'You moron! Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!'

13 August 2010, 12:08 AM	#5
Idle Swede Suspended Join Date: Oct 2008 Real Name: Leo Location: Boca Raton Posts: 13,820	Blonde Joke......... Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie? They had gone to see "Closed for the Winter".

13 August 2010, 12:14 AM	#6
Idle Swede Suspended Join Date: Oct 2008 Real Name: Leo Location: Boca Raton Posts: 13,820	Blonde Joke......... You might have to think twice about this one.. A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. 'How did this happen?' the emergency room doctor asked her. 'Well, I was trying to commit suicide,' the blonde replied. 'What?' sputtered the doctor. 'You tried to commit suicide by shooting off your finger?' 'No, Silly' the blonde said. 'First I put the gun to my chest, and then I thought, 'I just paid $6, 000.00 for these implants.... I'm not shooting myself in the chest.' 'So then?' asked the doctor. 'Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought, 'I just paid $3,000.00 to get my teeth straightened I'm not shooting myself in the mouth.' 'So then?' 'Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: 'This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger.

13 August 2010, 12:17 AM	#7
B Square "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Real Name: Boyd Location: NC Posts: 1,815	__________________ 16610M 16710Z Pepsi 16570V White

13 August 2010, 12:00 AM	#2
BASSETHOUNDS Banned Join Date: Oct 2009 Real Name: Tristan Location: GIRONA , SPAIN Watch: 116520/660/710/334 Posts: 7,147	LOL .. Is that what happened last night ,Leo ??

13 August 2010, 12:22 AM	#8
darthmouse "TRF" Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: EC/Midwest Watch: 16710 Posts: 1,016

13 August 2010, 12:26 AM	#9
Idle Swede Suspended Join Date: Oct 2008 Real Name: Leo Location: Boca Raton Posts: 13,820	Blonde Joke......... A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad hailstorm.. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun.... He told her to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out. So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe.. Nothing happened.. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened. Her blonde roommate saw her and asked, 'What are you doing?' The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. The roommate rolled her eyes and said, 'Uh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first.'

13 August 2010, 12:28 AM	#10
Idle Swede Suspended Join Date: Oct 2008 Real Name: Leo Location: Boca Raton Posts: 13,820	Blonde Joke......... A blonde was shopping at Target and came across a shiny silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took It to the clerk to ask what it was. The clerk said, 'Why, that's a thermos..... It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold.' 'Wow, said the blonde, 'that's amazing....I'm going to buy it!' So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day.. Her boss saw it on her desk. 'What's that,' he asked? 'Why, that's a thermos..... It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold,' she replied.. Her boss inquired, 'What do you have in it?' The blond replied.......'Two popsicles and some coffee.'

13 August 2010, 12:30 AM	#11
Idle Swede Suspended Join Date: Oct 2008 Real Name: Leo Location: Boca Raton Posts: 13,820	Blonde Joke......... AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST -- A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss asked sympathetically, 'What's the matter?' The blonde replies, 'early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away.' The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, 'Why don't you go home for the day? Take the day off to relax and rest' 'Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here.' The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. A couple of hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out from his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically... 'What's so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?' he asks.. 'No!' exclaims the blonde. 'I just received a horrible call from my sister. Her mother died, too!'

13 August 2010, 12:32 AM	#12
dalip "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Real Name: Dalip Location: Mumbai and Perth Watch: Rolex PAM Omega Posts: 18,656	Adopted __________________ ------------------------------------------------------------ *"The liar's punishment is not in the least that he is not believed, but that he cannot believe anyone else." George Bernard Shaw*

13 August 2010, 12:34 AM	#13
B Square "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Real Name: Boyd Location: NC Posts: 1,815	Made me lol __________________ 16610M 16710Z Pepsi 16570V White

13 August 2010, 04:57 AM	#14
rfknauss 2024 ROLEX DATEJUST41 Pledge Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Real Name: Richard Location: Macungie, PA Watch: 5513 Sub, LV Sub Posts: 14,494	__________________ *"Few things in life give man as great a pleasure as wearing a Rolex!"* TRF's "AFTER DARK" Bar & NightClub Patron

13 August 2010, 05:32 AM	#15
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13 August 2010, 10:18 AM	#16
sleddog TRF Moderator & 2024 DATE-JUST41 Patron Join Date: Jul 2007 Real Name: Rob Location: Nearby. Posts: 24,907	Classic! __________________ He who wears a Rolex is always on time, even when late!! TRF's "After Dark" Bar & Nightclub Patron-Founding Member..

13 August 2010, 10:23 AM	#17
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13 August 2010, 06:22 PM	#19
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13 August 2010, 06:53 PM	#20
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13 August 2010, 10:15 PM	#22
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14 August 2010, 06:36 AM	#23
JJ Irani Fondly Remembered Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: JJ Location: Auckland, NZ Watch: ALL SOLD!! Posts: 74,320	__________________ Words fail me in expressing my utmost thanks to ALL of you for this wonderful support during my hour of need!! I firmly believe that my time on planet earth is NOT yet up!! I shall fight this to the very end.......and WIN!!

14 August 2010, 09:03 AM	#25
blackmsport Banned Join Date: May 2009 Location: Melb - Australia Posts: 2,959	can we have a break from Blonde Jokes and next week is Irish Jone week please

14 August 2010, 09:09 AM	#26
dysondiver "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2010 Real Name: tom Location: northern ireland Watch: my fins Posts: 10,063	i love the blonde jokes ,,, well done

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