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13 October 2008, 01:39 PM | #1 |
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Performance Evaluations
Laughs from Employee Performance Evaluations
============================================ For everyone who has ever had an evaluation - just remember, it could have been worse. These are actual quotes taken from federal government employee performance evaluations. 1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and has started to dig." 2. "I would not allow this employee to breed." 3. "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be." 4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap." 5. "When he opens his mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet." 6. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy." 7. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them." 8. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot." 9. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts the better." 10. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together." 11. "A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus." 12. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier." 14. "I would like to go hunting with him sometime." 15. "He's been working with glue too much." 16. "He would argue with a signpost." 17. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room." 18. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell." 19. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one." 20. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on." 21. "A prime candidate for natural de-selection." 22. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it." 23. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming." 24. "He's got two brains cells, one is lost and the other is out looking for it." 25. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week." 26. "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change." 27. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean." 28. "It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm." 29. "One neuron short of a synapse." 30. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled." 31. "Takes him 2 hours to watch 60-minutes." 32. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead. |
13 October 2008, 03:36 PM | #2 |
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14 October 2008, 02:47 AM | #3 |
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14 October 2008, 02:48 AM | #4 |
Fondly Remembered
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Words fail me in expressing my utmost thanks to ALL of you for this wonderful support during my hour of need!! I firmly believe that my time on planet earth is NOT yet up!! I shall fight this to the very end.......and WIN!! |
14 October 2008, 03:09 AM | #5 |
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Rolex Yacht-Master 40mm (SS-YG / Deep Space MOP) 16623 Breitling Aerospace Titanium / 18K with UTC. Omega Speedmaster 3510.50 Oris TT1 Pro Diver Regulator 43MM |
14 October 2008, 04:11 AM | #6 |
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Rolex. The Rolex of watches. 16570 Expy2 Noir, 116710 GMT Master II, 2552.80 SMP |
14 October 2008, 04:16 AM | #7 |
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Member # 16057 4-Hands Club Tosser Club Member TRF Skypers Group |
14 October 2008, 05:26 AM | #8 |
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14 October 2008, 05:31 AM | #9 |
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15 October 2008, 05:02 AM | #10 |
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Rofl!
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Yunnoworameenmiduck |
15 October 2008, 05:09 PM | #11 |
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Present Collections TT Date-just, TT Sub. (Bluesy), YG Date-Date, YG GMT IIc (Black dial). SS GMT IIc |
24 October 2008, 07:21 PM | #12 |
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Rolex SS Oyster Perpetual no date, TT Datejust Member #13992 HM Power to the Superlative Panda, officially certified! HMPanda eats, shoots and leaves. Rolexers do it with perpetual movements. |
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