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padi56 · 21 June 2012, 12:59 AM

Dear Doctor.

I wish to apply for an operation to make me sterile...

My reasons are various. But after being married for 5 years, and my wife having 5 children, I have now come to the conclusion that contraceptives are totally useless!

When I got married, I was advised to use the "Rhythm Method", but despite trying the Tango and the Samba, my wife fell pregnant and I ruptured myself doing the Cha Cha.

Later the doctor suggested using the "Safe Period". At this time we were living with our in-laws, and had to wait three weeks for a safe period when the house was empty.....Needless to say, this didn't work either...

I asked a chemist about a "Sheath", The chemist demonstrated how easy it was to use, so I bought a packet. Again my wife fell pregnant, which doesn't surprise me, as I fail to see howone of those things stretched over my thumb as the chemist showed me, would prevent babies.

Then my wife was supplied with a "Coil", and after several hours of trying to fit it, we realised she had been given a left hand thread, and my wife is definitley a right hand screw......

The "Dutch Cap" came next. We were very hopeful of this, as it didn't interfere with our sex life at all, but unfortunately it gave my wife severe headaches. We specially asked for the largest size available-but it was still too tight across her forehead.

Finally we tried the "Pill". At first it kept falling out, then we realised we doing it wrong. My wife started crossing her legs, thus preventing me getting anywhere near her. This worked for awhile until the night she had cramp-and I didn't......

You must appreciate my problem, Doctor. If this operation is not possible I will have to resort to Oral sex, although I don't think just talking about it can be a substitute for the real thing!

Numismatist · 21 June 2012, 01:02 AM

Damn funny!

FeelingTheBlues · 21 June 2012, 02:20 AM

mitchy · 22 June 2012, 12:39 AM

TSW · 22 June 2012, 07:15 AM

Good one!

77T · 24 June 2012, 03:47 AM

A WIS on contraception

1675-David · 24 June 2012, 03:53 AM

I agree that the coil is useless. My wife used it and we are now expecting a baby in the spring!

21 June 2012, 12:59 AM	#1
padi56 "TRF" Life Patron Join Date: Jun 2005 Real Name: Peter Location: Llanfairpwllgwyng Watch: ing you. Posts: 52,464	Dear Doctor. Dear Doctor. I wish to apply for an operation to make me sterile... My reasons are various. But after being married for 5 years, and my wife having 5 children, I have now come to the conclusion that contraceptives are totally useless! When I got married, I was advised to use the "Rhythm Method", but despite trying the Tango and the Samba, my wife fell pregnant and I ruptured myself doing the Cha Cha. Later the doctor suggested using the "Safe Period". At this time we were living with our in-laws, and had to wait three weeks for a safe period when the house was empty.....Needless to say, this didn't work either... I asked a chemist about a "Sheath", The chemist demonstrated how easy it was to use, so I bought a packet. Again my wife fell pregnant, which doesn't surprise me, as I fail to see howone of those things stretched over my thumb as the chemist showed me, would prevent babies. Then my wife was supplied with a "Coil", and after several hours of trying to fit it, we realised she had been given a left hand thread, and my wife is definitley a right hand screw...... The "Dutch Cap" came next. We were very hopeful of this, as it didn't interfere with our sex life at all, but unfortunately it gave my wife severe headaches. We specially asked for the largest size available-but it was still too tight across her forehead. Finally we tried the "Pill". At first it kept falling out, then we realised we doing it wrong. My wife started crossing her legs, thus preventing me getting anywhere near her. This worked for awhile until the night she had cramp-and I didn't...... You must appreciate my problem, Doctor. If this operation is not possible I will have to resort to Oral sex, although I don't think just talking about it can be a substitute for the real thing! __________________ ICom Pro3 All posts are my own opinion and my opinion only. "The clock of life is wound but once, and no man has the power to tell just when the hands will stop. Now is the only time you actually own the time, Place no faith in time, for the clock may soon be still for ever." Good Judgement comes from experience,experience comes from Bad Judgement,.Buy quality, cry once; buy cheap, cry again and again. www.mc0yad.club Second in command CEO and left handed watch winder

21 June 2012, 01:02 AM	#2
Numismatist "TRF" Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Real Name: Chris Location: Camden ME & STT Watch: 116600 Posts: 6,350	Damn funny! __________________ Rolex 116600 Sea-dweller Montblanc Solitaire Doué Black & White Legrand FP Montblanc Solitaire Doué Black & White RB Montblanc Meisterstück Diamond Mozart BP Montblanc Meisterstück Mozart BP

21 June 2012, 02:20 AM	#3
FeelingTheBlues "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Real Name: Carl Location: Always moving Watch: If you wish... Posts: 22,039	__________________ Mon corps c'est un pays en guerre sur l'point d'finir, Le général de l'armée de terre s'attend au pire, J'ai faim, j'ai frette, je suis trop faible pour me lever debout, On va hisser le drapeau blanc un point c'est tout. - André Fortin

22 June 2012, 12:39 AM	#4
mitchy "TRF" Member Join Date: Apr 2010 Real Name: Mitch Location: . Watch: 116710LN Posts: 2,495	__________________ Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted John Lennon

22 June 2012, 07:15 AM	#5
TSW "TRF" Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Real Name: TSW Location: Le Brassus Watch: Rolex & AP's Posts: 27,449	Good one! __________________ AP Owners Club IG @swiss.watch.connection

24 June 2012, 03:47 AM	#6
77T 2024 ROLEX DATEJUST41 Pledge Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Real Name: PaulG Location: Georgia Posts: 40,975	A WIS on contraception __________________ Does anyone really know what time it is?

24 June 2012, 03:53 AM	#7
1675-David "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Stockholm Posts: 6,028	I agree that the coil is useless. My wife used it and we are now expecting a baby in the spring!

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